I wasn’t one of those girls who dreamed of having lots of children and playing with them all day. Not that I didn’t like kids. The cute, non-drooly ones who don’t need diaper changing — ya, I liked them. Whatever will be, will be was my motto.
Then I got pregnant. A few weeks after turning 36. Did you know that’s considered old and at at-risk? Oh, you did? I didn’t. That should have been the first hint that I was destined to become oblivious mama. There’s more, of course. Here are 7 more to dwell on:
7. You know those little pillows at the maternity clothing store? Definitely not pillows to sit on when you get tired of looking at clothes. You strap it to your belly to see what you’ll look like in 9 months. Gaw!
6. Maternity clothes are confusing. If you’re a Medium in pre-pregnant life, you’re still a medium in maternity size. What? Why? That still doesn’t make sense to me. How can all these previously medium-sized women with bigger stomachs still be the same size?
5. Your boobs don’t get bigger. That’s after birth.
4. It’s not 9 months. You’re pregnant for 10 months (37 to 40 weeks)!
3. Morning sickness goes away. At least it did for me after the first trimester — and right after I rushed to the bathroom to puke after telling my boss why I probably would be calling in sick for the next several months.
2. The world revolves around you — whether you like it or not. Stores, notably Babies R Us, have “Expectant Mothers” parking spots, which I loved but is controversial with others. People are nicer. Strangers stop minding their own business and ask you lots of questions and then proceed to offer advice. Don’t tell people your baby’s planned name — one friend’s sister begged her to urge me not to do it. (“No, I’m not having twins*” “Yes, if she’s born on Halloween, we’re going to call her Boo Leann because we’re really into math.” “Who are you again?”)
(*I admit I asked my friend this years before I became oblivious mom. Sorry again, Tiffany!)
1. At 7 months, my stomach started hurting like really bad cramps. I finally called the doctor near midnight and the nurse asked, “Are you having contractions?” “Oh no. Just bad cramps,” I replied. “Those are contractions!” she responded. Oh! Now you tell me! Hospital doctors confirmed that yes, I was in way-too-early labor. Drugs taken, cervix widening halted and two months of bed rest later, my kid was born. A week late. Take that mama!
And one last bonus for oblivious soon-to-be moms who become moms then head back to the maternity store to buy a nursing bra: You know that popular belief that you should never ask a woman if she is pregnant? Apparently, not as well known as you’d think. Thanks a lot Motherhood Maternity!
Source: Oblivious MaMa